Happy Mothers day!

The blogging bug is slowly beginning to bite me and its good that it helps me come out of this self induced laziness zone. Happy Mothers Day to my amma, my husband's amma, and to all mothers out there. I hope, wish and pray that I too become a mother, be a part of this "inside" circle, belong to this blessed group next mothers day! God, I hope u r listeneing me!
Nothing much happeneing, with the usual routine of work, get home, prepare for next day, and wait for weekedn, and before you know it, weekend whizzes past and there, is another week to face. Many a times, I get bored with this usual grind, hoping and wishing when i would have a baby, thinking what could be the reason for my plight(an not finding any answers), resolving to live life as it comes, to take things as they are. Over time, I've come to realise how hardships in life has moulded me, how I've come to feel myself in the other person's shoes, how things happen just as they are destined to, how inspite of things being already determined, one should continuously carry on ones duty etc..ok ok..all these thoughts do pop up when I'm collected and composed.But many times, I get into the depression mode, where in I start feeling why should I suffer like this, why cant God bless us witha child, what paavam did I do to suffer like this, will there be a solution for this at all, will I be able to carry and deliver a healthy and a happy baby..and many many questions like these..

I'm a person who always tries to correlate things, tries to find out what /which could be the reason for some happening, ( i can hear someone asking me: are you trying to reason out God's doings?? hahhaha..All the Best!!) , so offlate (read: last 1.5 years), I've started thinking if being in this team is also one of the reasons . Yeah, till last week, none in our team(read:ladies) had babies, two of them still unmarried..So,I was almost sure that changing team would help and I could try changing team or changing companies. Last week, (oh wah..what a coincidence..the Monday after Mothers Day!) one lady joined and I overheard her telling another teammate that she is carrying. But I wasnt very sure, so to confirm if what I heard was true or not, I gave a look at her stomach whenvere possible(how difficult is it to ask right on her face??) , then tried to make stories whenever she took a nap in the noons..Finally, I got the answer today. She is a blessed mother to a 8 month old baby boy. And not only did I get the answer to my doubt, I also felt very relieved and happy. Yes, because she is sitting next to me, and I secretly wish , hope and pray that I get the blessing to become a mother next ,and the timing of her coming to our team is very appropriate..As we are now trying and I have strong hopes and feelings that Iw ill get conceieved very soon and we will be blessed with our child very very soon. Mind does work in crazy/weired ways, but I'm looking forsomething positive, something nice to happen,so my mind is constantly wandering in sreach of this blessing.