Friday, 30 October, 2009

Poruthaar Bhoomi Aalwaar..

I'm searching for the person whoever coined this proverb..In that case, I think I should be the ruler of the world..(I know every other individual will think that he/she has to be ruler of the world)
I was patient was last 4 years, now I'm finding it very difficult to wait for another 10 days when I would know the pregnancy test results. I'm hoping , wishing and praying that this cycle, we are blessed with our miracle and our bundle of joy! Learning from my experiences and from the various discourses that I've attended and various inspiring and uplifting blogs and material that I've read, have become more and more patient, conditioned and mature to take things as they come, not to get too anxious, realised that there are not too many things in our control, and that nature and time (GOD) will always do the best for each oen of us.Though I've become accustomed, still, it becomes a tad too difficult at times, (like yday and today) when I'm down, feel lost and have a not so good feeling, worried about the uncertainity, confused about what God wants to test me, irritated about what on life have I done to face such difficulties..But still, something inward tells me that a good nesa and a cute little bundle of joy will come to our home very soon..very very soon.I might be pregnant already,God, are you listening,?

Saturday, 24 October, 2009

Them and Us

Read this post at Inba's blog, and am prompted to jot this down rightw aya without postpoing for another good day as I do always.
Yes, during my growing up years, I vivdly remember my mother putting a budget every month and very much living with in the budget. With my father being the single earning member of the family, supporting aged parents, getting my fathers sister married off, and compensating for the dowry to the elder sister who was married a good 10 years ago ,all this with a private job, (not a position with Ambani or Tatas, but with a small transport company down south), earning a couple of thousands (Appa, is it 1K or 2K?)..
While my dad works tirelessly, my mom knows how best to manage the house. As a newly married bride, she didnt ask (forget about demanding) all the little thrills one gets, be it going out for a movie, or to beach, or to any small vacations. She is the one who is truly the backbone to my dad , to our family . Only when tow hands collide, will sound emnate..So, Appa works sincerely, tirelessly, selflessly all for us daughters. He puts us before himself. During our countless hsopping trips, he will patiently choose stuff for us, without ever considering his needs..

Fast forward 25 years..Here I'm thinking for more than a year if I should quit my job and stay at home, take care of my health, get into family way, take a break from career for a few years till the baby goes to play school, but still undecided..Though I seem to proclaim every now and then to BH that I'm mentally prepared to take a break from career, deep within, I still have doubts if I'm "really" ok to quit the job. EMI,insurance, shopping trips, mobile bills, dedicing to spend for stuff at the drop of a hat, taking an auto/taxi for convenience sake instead of commuting by public transport, dining out , different kinds of oil to apply on my hair, how would I manage all this without earning..?? "m sure these necessities will be provided by BH, but still, i'm quite not fully at peace with the idea of quitting..I need money to be able to feel comfortable, to buy, give stuff to people to matter to me . To be able to feel confident ..I'm at great awe at my parents how they are able to manage stuff comfortably within their means.