Dear God,
Thank you for creating me, for blessing me with such wonderful parents, an amazing sister, understanding husband, adjusting in-laws, opportunity to study in one of the most prestigious institutes in the country, working in one of the best organisations in the world, financially sound , decent health, what else and what not..Touch Wood, and Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times.
Do you have plans of blessing me(us) with a healthy happy baby? Do I fall in that inside category? How long are you planning to make me suffer like this? For how long should I be wistfully looking into all those mommies? For how long should I be contantly living in my dreams? What sins have I committed that you are punishing me like this? While I vent out like above, I have not forgotten that fact that are umpteen, (read millions) of your own creation that are suufeering harder than I am, who have been asking these questions to you for generations ..I havent forgotten that fact. God, please forgive my sins, show me the path , guide me in the path of truth, guide me before I tend to make any mistake, i put myself into thy feet, you be the speaker of my words, you be the thinker of my thoughts and you be the doer of my deeds, I surrender myself to you, please bless me.
Thank you for everything,
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Friday, 21 May 2010
Happy Birthday to Hd
Hubby dear turns a year wiser, younger.. I wish him a wonderful year with good health, success at work, and blessings form Almighty that he gets promoted to a dad!!. Next year, I wish he celebrates his birthday as a new daddy .
Thursday, 20 May 2010
It pricks, it haunts..
Yes, everytime someone passes on some shloka, asking my mom to go look out for some horoscope reader, go to some temples, do this and do that, it hurts, it pricks a, it haunts, it sends in a tremor in me..even when I'm placating myself that everything is happening for good, and God will bless me with a child and I need to just put all my burdens on Him and just Trust Him, when people around comment /talk/suggest,it becomes natural for me to get into a depressive mood, to doubt, to ask if I will be blessed, to have a rough conversation with God as to why cant he open his eyes, what sims did i do to go through all this, why cant he forgive my sins ..
I'm quite happy that many in the blogsphere are going to be second time mommy's and I long to join their club.
There is a tag that I want to do myself: 30 thinsg to do before 30, but for now I would like to start with 5 thinsg to do before i turn 30:
1) Become a mother
2) Juggle work , home and kids with the right attitude and maturity
3) Become an expert cook who can cook deliciously (me thinks I already cook healthy food, so not specifically including it here) for kid, husband, mil , parents and sis
4) Mould myself and not worry too much about future, live in the present and enjoy the present.
5) Indulge myself in some materialistic stuff (which I havent done so far !)
Anyone is willing to take up this tag , rather re-do this tag again and check if theire opinions/preferences have changed with time.
I'm quite happy that many in the blogsphere are going to be second time mommy's and I long to join their club.
There is a tag that I want to do myself: 30 thinsg to do before 30, but for now I would like to start with 5 thinsg to do before i turn 30:
1) Become a mother
2) Juggle work , home and kids with the right attitude and maturity
3) Become an expert cook who can cook deliciously (me thinks I already cook healthy food, so not specifically including it here) for kid, husband, mil , parents and sis
4) Mould myself and not worry too much about future, live in the present and enjoy the present.
5) Indulge myself in some materialistic stuff (which I havent done so far !)
Anyone is willing to take up this tag , rather re-do this tag again and check if theire opinions/preferences have changed with time.
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
Happy Mothers day!
The blogging bug is slowly beginning to bite me and its good that it helps me come out of this self induced laziness zone. Happy Mothers Day to my amma, my husband's amma, and to all mothers out there. I hope, wish and pray that I too become a mother, be a part of this "inside" circle, belong to this blessed group next mothers day! God, I hope u r listeneing me!
Nothing much happeneing, with the usual routine of work, get home, prepare for next day, and wait for weekedn, and before you know it, weekend whizzes past and there, is another week to face. Many a times, I get bored with this usual grind, hoping and wishing when i would have a baby, thinking what could be the reason for my plight(an not finding any answers), resolving to live life as it comes, to take things as they are. Over time, I've come to realise how hardships in life has moulded me, how I've come to feel myself in the other person's shoes, how things happen just as they are destined to, how inspite of things being already determined, one should continuously carry on ones duty etc..ok ok..all these thoughts do pop up when I'm collected and composed.But many times, I get into the depression mode, where in I start feeling why should I suffer like this, why cant God bless us witha child, what paavam did I do to suffer like this, will there be a solution for this at all, will I be able to carry and deliver a healthy and a happy baby..and many many questions like these..
I'm a person who always tries to correlate things, tries to find out what /which could be the reason for some happening, ( i can hear someone asking me: are you trying to reason out God's doings?? hahhaha..All the Best!!) , so offlate (read: last 1.5 years), I've started thinking if being in this team is also one of the reasons . Yeah, till last week, none in our team(read:ladies) had babies, two of them still unmarried..So,I was almost sure that changing team would help and I could try changing team or changing companies. Last week, (oh wah..what a coincidence..the Monday after Mothers Day!) one lady joined and I overheard her telling another teammate that she is carrying. But I wasnt very sure, so to confirm if what I heard was true or not, I gave a look at her stomach whenvere possible(how difficult is it to ask right on her face??) , then tried to make stories whenever she took a nap in the noons..Finally, I got the answer today. She is a blessed mother to a 8 month old baby boy. And not only did I get the answer to my doubt, I also felt very relieved and happy. Yes, because she is sitting next to me, and I secretly wish , hope and pray that I get the blessing to become a mother next ,and the timing of her coming to our team is very appropriate..As we are now trying and I have strong hopes and feelings that Iw ill get conceieved very soon and we will be blessed with our child very very soon. Mind does work in crazy/weired ways, but I'm looking forsomething positive, something nice to happen,so my mind is constantly wandering in sreach of this blessing.
Nothing much happeneing, with the usual routine of work, get home, prepare for next day, and wait for weekedn, and before you know it, weekend whizzes past and there, is another week to face. Many a times, I get bored with this usual grind, hoping and wishing when i would have a baby, thinking what could be the reason for my plight(an not finding any answers), resolving to live life as it comes, to take things as they are. Over time, I've come to realise how hardships in life has moulded me, how I've come to feel myself in the other person's shoes, how things happen just as they are destined to, how inspite of things being already determined, one should continuously carry on ones duty etc..ok ok..all these thoughts do pop up when I'm collected and composed.But many times, I get into the depression mode, where in I start feeling why should I suffer like this, why cant God bless us witha child, what paavam did I do to suffer like this, will there be a solution for this at all, will I be able to carry and deliver a healthy and a happy baby..and many many questions like these..
I'm a person who always tries to correlate things, tries to find out what /which could be the reason for some happening, ( i can hear someone asking me: are you trying to reason out God's doings?? hahhaha..All the Best!!) , so offlate (read: last 1.5 years), I've started thinking if being in this team is also one of the reasons . Yeah, till last week, none in our team(read:ladies) had babies, two of them still unmarried..So,I was almost sure that changing team would help and I could try changing team or changing companies. Last week, (oh wah..what a coincidence..the Monday after Mothers Day!) one lady joined and I overheard her telling another teammate that she is carrying. But I wasnt very sure, so to confirm if what I heard was true or not, I gave a look at her stomach whenvere possible(how difficult is it to ask right on her face??) , then tried to make stories whenever she took a nap in the noons..Finally, I got the answer today. She is a blessed mother to a 8 month old baby boy. And not only did I get the answer to my doubt, I also felt very relieved and happy. Yes, because she is sitting next to me, and I secretly wish , hope and pray that I get the blessing to become a mother next ,and the timing of her coming to our team is very appropriate..As we are now trying and I have strong hopes and feelings that Iw ill get conceieved very soon and we will be blessed with our child very very soon. Mind does work in crazy/weired ways, but I'm looking forsomething positive, something nice to happen,so my mind is constantly wandering in sreach of this blessing.
Sunday, 6 December 2009
To quit job or not
I'm in a dilema, whether to quit job or not. Work is becoming more streeful off-late.At this point of time, when we rae planning to go the family way, I dont want to take stress. I want to give birth to a happy and a healthy baby! There I said it..But, the thought of not earning (since I've been earning even before passing out of college, while I was an intern), not able to see the bank balance grow, need to think before spending (not that I dont think now, while earning).I'm neither a shopaholic nor a spendthrift. I feel I can manage not working too. Once I conceive, I will anyway quit unless the office wants me to work from home. God, please help me make up my mind and take a decision that is good for me
Thanks!
Thanks!
Work is ........... me
Yes, I said it right..
Work _ _ _ _ _.
I would like to educate my boss the following:
1) No company/no team depends on the success or failure of one person or the work that a single individual does.
2) What was the manager doing all through one full year when there were problems? When one problem got resolved, he relaxed as did the engineer, only till the next problem cropped up and loomed into gigantic proportions. If an engineer is not able to solve the problem, why didnt the manager put somebody else in his/her place or why didnt he ask someone else to help the person who is in trouble?
3) Is the goal to solve the problem or to judge one's capabilities. For the latter, there is always an focal point review where one is rated/judged. What about finding the solution for the problem?
4) Pull out the weekly meeting notes to find out what was planned every week and what was executed.
5) What is the point of doing retro? when no action is taken from the learnings? Right from beginning, it was told that there was no documentation available. Wehn documentation was made available, there was no one to take a look at it. Why was no review done in the last one year?
Answer the above before blaming it on an individual,Mr.Boss
Work _ _ _ _ _.
I would like to educate my boss the following:
1) No company/no team depends on the success or failure of one person or the work that a single individual does.
2) What was the manager doing all through one full year when there were problems? When one problem got resolved, he relaxed as did the engineer, only till the next problem cropped up and loomed into gigantic proportions. If an engineer is not able to solve the problem, why didnt the manager put somebody else in his/her place or why didnt he ask someone else to help the person who is in trouble?
3) Is the goal to solve the problem or to judge one's capabilities. For the latter, there is always an focal point review where one is rated/judged. What about finding the solution for the problem?
4) Pull out the weekly meeting notes to find out what was planned every week and what was executed.
5) What is the point of doing retro? when no action is taken from the learnings? Right from beginning, it was told that there was no documentation available. Wehn documentation was made available, there was no one to take a look at it. Why was no review done in the last one year?
Answer the above before blaming it on an individual,Mr.Boss
Friday, 30 October 2009
Poruthaar Bhoomi Aalwaar..
I'm searching for the person whoever coined this proverb..In that case, I think I should be the ruler of the world..(I know every other individual will think that he/she has to be ruler of the world)
I was patient was last 4 years, now I'm finding it very difficult to wait for another 10 days when I would know the pregnancy test results. I'm hoping , wishing and praying that this cycle, we are blessed with our miracle and our bundle of joy! Learning from my experiences and from the various discourses that I've attended and various inspiring and uplifting blogs and material that I've read, have become more and more patient, conditioned and mature to take things as they come, not to get too anxious, realised that there are not too many things in our control, and that nature and time (GOD) will always do the best for each oen of us.Though I've become accustomed, still, it becomes a tad too difficult at times, (like yday and today) when I'm down, feel lost and have a not so good feeling, worried about the uncertainity, confused about what God wants to test me, irritated about what on life have I done to face such difficulties..But still, something inward tells me that a good nesa and a cute little bundle of joy will come to our home very soon..very very soon.I might be pregnant already,God, are you listening,?
I was patient was last 4 years, now I'm finding it very difficult to wait for another 10 days when I would know the pregnancy test results. I'm hoping , wishing and praying that this cycle, we are blessed with our miracle and our bundle of joy! Learning from my experiences and from the various discourses that I've attended and various inspiring and uplifting blogs and material that I've read, have become more and more patient, conditioned and mature to take things as they come, not to get too anxious, realised that there are not too many things in our control, and that nature and time (GOD) will always do the best for each oen of us.Though I've become accustomed, still, it becomes a tad too difficult at times, (like yday and today) when I'm down, feel lost and have a not so good feeling, worried about the uncertainity, confused about what God wants to test me, irritated about what on life have I done to face such difficulties..But still, something inward tells me that a good nesa and a cute little bundle of joy will come to our home very soon..very very soon.I might be pregnant already,God, are you listening,?
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